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May 28 2015

W pewnym momencie możesz spotkać kogoś, kto będzie dla Ciebie doskonały, w najmniejszych molekułach zaprojektowany by być Twoim największym skarbem i źródłem radości. Ta osoba może albo całkowicie Cię uszczęśliwić, albo totalnie zmiażdżyć
— Radek Kolago
Reposted fromzimnepalce zimnepalce viaownstyle ownstyle
- Wiesz co się dzieje z ludźmi którzy zamykają się w sobie ?
- Wyciszają się.. ? 
- Nie, psują, wyniszczają. 
— Francuski Pocałunek
Reposted fromcytaty cytaty viaownstyle ownstyle
Pojawia się ktoś w Twoim życiu i część Ciebie mówi: nie jestem gotowa, a druga część mówi: musi być Twój na zawsze
— Remember me
Reposted fromTryToRememberrr TryToRememberrr viaownstyle ownstyle
Ogólnie rzecz biorąc, to ja jestem raczej na "nie". Niezorganizowana, niezdecydowana, nieostrożna, niedbała, nieufna, może troszkę niemądra i niepoważna. Widzisz, ja naprawdę potrzebuję Twojego "tak".
— 03:06/05/15
Reposted fromzlesypiam zlesypiam viaownstyle ownstyle

May 27 2015


By & About

Me, that is. In reference to a couple of essays that have gone live over the past 24 hours.


AEscifiI haven’t had a lot contact with the good folks over at The Canadian Science Fiction Review— I don’t even know why they call themselves “Æ”, now that I think of it— but over the years I’ve got the sense that they like my stuff (well, a lot of it, at least— not even the strength of Æ’s fannishness was enough to get them to like βehemoth). Now they’ve posted “God and the Machines” by Aurora nominee Jonathan Crowe: a short essay on my short fiction, which among other things deals with the question of why everybody thinks I’m so damn grimdark when I’m actually quite cuddly. (Thank you, Jonathan. I was getting tired being the only one to point that out.) (Also, great title.)

Crowe posits something I hadn’t considered: that I don’t write the darkest stuff out there by any means, but it seems darker because I use Hard-SF as the delivery platform. I serve up crunchy science souffle, but I serve it with a messy “visceral” prose that “bleeds all over the page”. It’s a contrast effect, he seems to be saying; the darkness looks deeper in comparison to the chrome and circuitry that frames it. (Also, while those at the softer end of the spectrum tend to lay their nihilistic gothiness at the feet of Old Ones and Tentacle Breathers, I tend to lay it on the neurocircuitry of the  human brain. My darkness is harder to escape, because— as the protagonist of “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” once reminisced— “You can’t run away from your own feet”. Something to think about, anyway.

It’s a good read. You should check it out.


The other essay is not about me but by me, and it just went up today over at Aeon. It’s basically a distillation of ideas and thought experiments from various talks and short stories and blog posts I’ve made over the years, mixed in with some late-breaking developments in Brain-Machine Interface technology. It explores some of the ramifications of shared consciousness and multibrain networks. (Those who’ve read my recent exercise in tentacle porn won’t be surprised that those ramifications are a bit dark around the edges).

In contrast with my experience of “God anhiveaeond the Machines”, I wasn’t expecting to learn anything new from “The Bandwidth of a Soul”, because (obviously) I wrote the damn thing. Surprisingly, though, I did learn things. I learned that it’s not called “The Bandwidth of a Soul” any more. I’m not quite sure what it is called: the visible heading reads “Hive Consciousness” but the page itself (and all the twitter links feeding back to it) are titled “Do We Really Want To Fuse Our Minds Together?” (I guess this is just something that magazines do. A couple of years back I wrote an autobiographical bit about flesh-eating disease for The Daily; its title morphed from “The Least Unlucky Bastard” into “I Survived Flesh-Eating Bacteria: One Man’s Near-Death Experience With The Disease Of Your Nightmares”.)

I also learned that the staff of Aeon might feel the need to tip-toe around references to public figures— at the expense of what was, IMHO, one of the better lines in the piece. You will find it at the end of the following paragraph:

I’m not sure how seriously to take [the Cambridge Declaration]. Not that I find the claim implausible – I’ve always believed that we humans tend to underestimate the cognitive complexity of other creatures – but it’s not as though the declaration announced the results of some ground-breaking new experiment to settle the issue once and for all. Rather, its signatories basically sat down over beers and took a show of hands on whether to publicly admit bonobos to the Sapients Club. (Something else that seems a bit iffy is all the fuss raised over the signing of the declaration ‘in the presence of Stephen Hawking’, even though he is neither a neuroscientist nor a signatory. You almost get the sense of a card table hastily erected next to Hawking’s wheelchair, in the hopes that some of his credibility might rub off before he has a chance to roll away.)

You will not find it over at Aeon, though; that last sentence disappeared from the final draft. Obviously the Card Table Lobby has no sense of humor.

I’d also like to give a shout-out here to neuroscientist Erik Hoel, out of Giulio Tononi’s lab at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. It was his back-of-the envelope calculations that generated the bandwidth comparison between smart phones and corpus callosums. I credited the man in-text but that line also seems to have been cut.

Other than that, though— and allowing for the Aeon’s editorial preferences (they like commas; they don’t like hypertext links)— it’s pretty much all there. They even left my Morse-code-orgasm joke intact.

So check that out, too. You’ll get all the neuroscientific speculation I ever put in any of my stories, without having to wade through all that noodly fiction stuff.

Skąd mogłam wiedzieć, że się nie liczy,
to jak patrzymy na siebie w ciszy?
Skąd mogłam wiedzieć, że mnie oszukasz?
Reposted byownstyle ownstyle
Andrzej Kotański "Wiersze o moim psychiatrze"
Jeśli ktoś nie reaguje na twoje uczucie, odpuszczaj. Nie proś, nie pytaj, nie walcz. Tak często nie widzimy, że nie powinniśmy iść dalej.
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Meadows (2014)

Made for Procjam 2014, Meadows is an island of procedurally generated growing plants. Made by Tom Betts, who you might remember from In Ruins and Sir, You Are Being Hunted.


Jedźmy gdzieś, błagam. Potrzebuję ucieczki, oderwania, zapomnienia.
— jestem zmęczona
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Finally, a screenshot from nodo-chinko (Keita Takahashi) and Funomena’s game Wattam!

I hope Wattam will be a good game for all ages.

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Keyboard Mash
Reposted byschlachtoroscoffeebitchkrybusv3bso

May 26 2015

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A gdyby
ktoś inny przy mnie dzisiaj był
i wypełniał mi dni?
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Jedźmy gdzieś, błagam. Potrzebuję ucieczki, oderwania, zapomnienia.
— jestem zmęczona
Reposted fromrefuge refuge vialosiek losiek
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